德国华人书友会线下分享活动(3.31-4.7)

杜塞尔多夫

第一期线下分享     

时间:2019年3月31日 

地点:Sakurazaka Liebe 

Eltern Kind Paradies

Rosenstraße 28

人数:18

书籍分享

这是一本育儿的书。如果你为人父母,那么它是你必须阅读的圣经。然而它同时也是一部帮助人们提高自我认知的书。读了它,那些所谓哲学的基本问题,诸如:你从哪里来?你是谁?你向哪里去?似乎不再那么飘渺和虚幻。


先天基因,我们无发改变。然而,我们的父母、亲人、老师以及周边环境是如何将我们塑造成为今天这个样子?却是一个非常复杂且难以回答的问题。P.E.T犹如一个放大镜,让我们有机会仔细观察自己的成长过程。看清那些导致我们满身毛病的错误的教养方法。使我们有机会重新审视自己,发现问题。为自我救赎提供了机会、可能和方法。


爱、公平和尊重是教育以及人际交往中最基本的元素。也是这本书关注的重要元素。虽然很多人都很确信他们知道什么是爱、公平和尊重。并坚信他们在教育孩子以及与人交往中都能做到爱、公平和尊重。但事实却正好相反。因为他们仅仅了解了爱、公平和尊重的表层含义。真正的核心却从来就没有触及过。这就是为什么父母在安慰哭泣的孩子时常常说:“不哭“!或是严厉,或是慈祥。然而,内容都是“不哭“。而不是说:“你很难过“。其根本原因就是父母并不知道爱的本质是接纳。接纳对方,接纳对方的情绪!而说“你很难过“就代表着接纳。就代表着爱。说“不哭“则代表着不接纳。无论你用什么语气!对孩子来说就是“不爱“。想想看多少父母和老师在爱的旗帜下,表达着不接纳和不爱!我们成年人之间其实也上演着相同的戏。只是我们一直不知道自己是自相矛盾的这一事实。这仅仅是诸多深刻内容的一个例子。相信在阅读这本书的过程中,你一定会有许多惊叹:啊,原来是这样!


知道了自己的无知,改进自己的愿望也就成为必然。我们当然可以深入思考,自己寻找提高自己的方法。这也是必须的。但是我们的时间和经历毕竟非常有限。阅读这本书然后深入思考,再加上与志同道合的书友们讨论交流,显然是最有效率的手段。这既是作者的推荐,也是我亲身的经验。虽然改变自己是最难最痛苦的事情之一。但同时也是最让人有成就感的事情。如果你小有成果,必定更加自信和坚强。

书籍分享

 德累斯顿

第五十四期线下分享      

时间:2019年4月7日 

地点:SLUB-1116 

人数:12人

书籍分享

推荐语:一本理财的启蒙书籍,一本改变思维的畅销书。我们从小被灌输了一个观念,好好学习找到一个好工作 ,然后就能有好的收入。书里打破了这个观念,要想实现财务自由,不能光靠工资。只有当被动收入超过了生活所需的支出之后,你才能放下工作,真正的不为钱工作,从而享受人生。

《写在人生边上》是一代文豪钱钟书先生的散文集,相对于《围城》和《管锥篇》,这本书没有《围城》的通透入里,大起大落;没有《管锥篇》的高山仰止,难以亲近。但这本书放在《围城》和《管锥篇》的边上,是一个有趣的存在。在这本散文集里,先生尽显其天赋和有趣,古今中外学者思想信手拈来,调侃人生诙谐幽默,嬉笑之后又是厚重的阅历沉淀,着实精彩。下面附上先生作品的前言:


人生据说是一部大书。 假使人生真是这样,那么,我们一大半作者只能算是书评家,具有书评家的本领,无须看得几页书,议论早已发了一大堆,书评一篇写完交卷。 但是,世界上还有一种人。他们觉得看书的目的,并不是为了写书评或介绍。他们有一种业余消遣者的随便和从容,他们不慌不忙的浏览。每到有什么意见,他们随手在书边的空白上注几个字,写一个问号或感叹号,像中国旧书上的眉批,外国书里的Marginalia。这种零星随感并非他们对于整部书的结论。因为是随时批识,先后也许彼此矛盾,说话过火。他们也懒得去理会,反正是消遣,不像书评家负有指导读者、教训作者的重大使命。谁有能力和耐心作那些事呢? 假使人生是一部大书,那么,下面的几篇散文只能算是写在人生边上的。这本书真大!一时不易看完,就是写过的边上也还留下好多空白。

PS:除了这本书之外,有兴趣的朋友还可以去读读杨绛先生的《走到人生边上:自问自答》

波鸿

第一期线下分享    

时间:2019年4月7日 

地点:konkret cafe  

人数:6人

书籍分享

人类的社会属性决定了我们的一生都是处理与他人的关系中度过。 亲密关系这本书把关注点放在情侣关系的研究上, 伴随着大量的心理学实验研究结果,让读者更清晰地认识到一段亲密关系中到底是什么在起作用, 在出现的各类问题中又到底什么才是问题的本质。这种探索事情本质的思维在生活中也是通用的。  很多时候事情和我们的想象的并不一样。其中作者两个的观点很值得思考, 一个是他强烈抨击被夸张化的男女间的差异,作者认为, 人与人之间的个体的差异才是问题的关键, 而非男女的性别差异,而导致个体差异来源于社会的各个方面 ;另一个更具颠覆性的观点是作者否定了的大部分人从未产生过一丝怀疑的情侣互补的这一模式,并说明,人本质是因为相似而相吸,这里的相似指的是相似的观念和价值观,所以一段看似互补的亲密关系其深层的核心一定还是因为相似。 整本书信息量大,耗时,但是很有回报,因为这不只是一个学习亲密关系的过程,也是一个进一步地了解自己的机会。

end

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