囧在德国(一)

作者简介
何火乐,硕士毕业于德国大学电子专业,现在在德国某著名汽车公司音响部门工作,一位汽车民工。经过作者同意,德国华人书友会开始连载他平时在工作中的一些小故事,命名为囧在德国系列,看他如何吐槽在德国的工作生活,欢迎关注 

这里太有趣了。。。一个公司祖传收音机每天开着当办公室背景音没问题,我戴耳机听音乐就不阔以,原因不是担心工作分心,而是因为这样显得我很孤立不愿意加入大家随时开聊的话题

作为唯一的外国人,总要接受各种老德们关于中国功夫的问题。尼玛你比我高一个头手比我长一米还找我玩? 于是我怒了,来,看手相!先从西妹开始,一不小心把感情生活全说出来了。她一看这好玩啊然后给所有德国同事宣传,然后。。。这几天每天午饭来一个新德汉来看手相。看完以后点头以后回去宣传。。。好吧。。。我下周Termin都满了。。。现在已经是组里中国先知的节奏了。

 

在部门会议时轮到我时候随口说了一句过去两周工作之余把部门过去几年一直用的测试流程优化了一下,顺便做了个数据库把典型错误对照展示了一下,结果几个boss会后不信邪来找我答辩一个多小时也就算了,你个派来来参观的老美也来提问好意思的么。。。当我维基百科啊。不过正因为有他在我才能说英语,成功忽悠全场下周开始采用我的流程。顺便总结一下这次,使用多年的流程大公司一般不会随便改,要说服boss就一定要足够的理论配上详尽的实验对照以及。。。足够的耐心因为他们关注的是可靠性和连贯性

我突然发现一个有趣的事情,原来以为只有中国人美国人很想创业,德国这种保守的国家都跟大公司混,毕竟福利待遇很好,结果最近工作关系问到好多德国人,都想着以后自己开公司,但是他们的那种公司又和咱们的创业感觉不一样,思想保守了很多。当然这个保守他们认为是稳健。

我给祖国丢脸了。。。今天办公室德妹看到一只屁屁虫尖叫,然后某德汉操着书就干过去了。吓我一跳还以为是来干我的我一想你们鄙视我们吃狗肉杀狗么这个机会不能错过。于是就说哎呀虫虫辣么阔爱你们怎么能打死咧,虫虫在中国是每家都养呢。。。结果。。。他们更鄙视我了。。。

等了一个月终于拿到公司的门禁卡了。早上趾高气扬的走进大门时候想着,妈妈咪的你这个德国保安每天把我当朝鲜间谍查来查去的,爷今天自己刷卡进门好么!结果嘟嘟嘟什么情况啊,三道门的权限就只给我开了园区大楼里面实验室的小门的?知不知道在三维世界咱必须从外面大门一道一道走进去而不能直接闪现到里面的好么!

撰稿:何烁

编辑:朱非凡

往期回顾:

商科学生在德国找工作有多难?看商科小姐姐如何在德国成功求职

摩洛哥“非主流”游记

德国人眼中的中国人是什么样的?

更多德国见闻感受,欢迎扫码关注我们:

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加入我们一起阅读分享,联系微信:HappyinDL

本篇文章来源于微信公众号: 德国华人书友会

Author: DCBC Team

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